Clarkson's Farm review – Jeremy's heartbreak at Diddly Squat will make you weep

03/05/2024 06:00

Although it is often hilarious, Clarkson's ever-compelling show is back with shocking and harrowing insights into the truth about British farming. Tissues at the ready!

Oh, to be in charge at Prime Video. Imagine spending $465m on a Lord of the Rings remake that hardly anyone appeared to actually enjoy, when it turns out that sticking a few cameras on a tractor while a famous curmudgeon tries to explain the impossibilities of farming in Britain today will give you the biggest show on the platform. That is, in the UK, at least. We'll have none of your explosive charismatic movie star Mr and Mrs Smith remakes, thank you very much. We'll take bickering with the local council about enforcement orders, novel methods of blackberry harvesting and the travails of breeding pigs at Diddly Squat farm instead.

Actually, hold that last thought, because I may still regret my emotional investment in the third season of Clarkson's Farm. The whole series begins with a warning, in fact. "Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong," says Clarkson, gravely. It's the council, it's the weather, it's the climate, it's the war in Ukraine. It doesn't rain for weeks. Then it doesn't stop raining. Things break, crops fail and animals have to go, in more ways than one. In among all that bucolic loveliness, this is a relentless and unforgiving grind.